Monday, June 21, 2021

It's all so weird

I met Troy in high school.  We started dating not long before I turned 16.  We got married in 1997, when we were 23 years old.  We'd been married for 22 years when he died.  I'd never seriously dated anyone other than him, I don't think I'd ever really loved anyone other than him.  

Losing him was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through and I've commented that I never want to get married again.  I think I still mean that, although having someone that I can hang out with, have fun with, someone who isn't a relative or co-worker, would be wonderful.  

Sometime over the last year or so, someone I talk to during work hours (not in my company) occasionally has turned from just being friendly to being downright flirty.  He's told me that I sound super nice, that we need to meet someday because I sound so nice.  One day, he randomly asked if I'd been drinking because I'd been laughing when I answered the phone and I'd told him no - I was working.  He laughed and said, "So, asking you out for lunch and a couple martinis won't work?"

I laughed, even though I was surprised.  

Several weeks later, he mentioned it again.  "We really ought to have lunch one day."  I like that he chose lunch, dinner carries too many connotations, sounds like a date, too much pressure.  Makes it seem more friendly, less something that I know I'm not ready for yet.  

Today, he said he'd been checking out my area - aka where my office is - and was stunned that we're in the middle of an industrial area and there are no restaurants around.  He wanted to know where we ate and I really wanted to tell him 'at my desk, straight out of my lunchbox', but I didn't want to go there.  Instead, I told him you'd be more likely to run into a strip club than a restaurant around here.  Which is true.

So, I'm feeling a bit... strange about all this.  Troy loved me, I know this.  He always told me so, made a point to tell me I looked nice, to treat me well.  But I had been involved with him for 30 years of my life - from when we started dating when I was 15, to when he died when we were both 45.  Hearing someone else flirt is strange to my ears, makes me wonder if I'm making it into more than it is simply because I'm lonely.  

I guess I'll find out the next time I have to call him for something.  Because if he's looking, maybe he's really thinking of asking?  

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Petty People

 So, I'm on a lot of email lists (still, I'm a dinosaur, I know), and generally things are pretty mellow.  They're mostly book-related so there's not often a lot of drama.  But sometimes... 

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Ugh... men

Or, maybe just the men I deal with regularly?  Don't want to lump 'em all into one annoying pile now, do I?

Friday, March 6, 2020

March Already?

I really need to get into the habit of posting more often than I do.  Trouble is, the only times I think about it is when I need to rage post.  And well, those posts I tend to delete before they ever see the light of day.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

When Fantasy Meets Reality

I find it interesting that the book I'm reading features an ex-reality star president who is being impeached.

Monday, November 18, 2019

Perspective is Everything

In Romanian, when you want to know how someone is, you say, ce faci.

There are a lot of ways to respond to this.

Bine, I'm good, is one.  

Mă simt rău, which means I'm feeling bad/not great.  

But the one that cracked me up was this:

Nu mă plâng, meaning I'm not bad.  However, it literally translates to I'm not crying.  

Can't lie, I'm going to start saying this to people when they ask how I'm doing.  "I've been better, but yanno?  I'm not crying." LOL

Friday, November 15, 2019

One day

One day, I will learn to keep my mouth shut.  

One day I will learn that, although they tell everyone else how smart they think you are, they don't honestly believe it themselves.  

One day, I will be treated with the same respect and consideration that the men in my office are afforded.

Today is not that day.  

Thank god it's Friday and I can go home and not deal with this for two days.  And to think I was actually starting to feel better about myself this morning. 

Friday, November 1, 2019

(Not All) Men

What is it with the men in my life not being able to tell me exactly what they want?  I get that sometimes you're not 110% sure, but it seems like the ones I have to deal with regularly aren't even in the same ballpark as their wants.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Kids

As you may or may not know, I have two kids, both girls. One is 19 and the other is 17.  

My older girl decided a long time ago that she wanted to be a nurse, which is great.  My mother-in-law is a retired nurse and I honestly think that had a lot to do with it.  Either way, it's a great profession.  Bonus is that UNLV has an excellent nursing program.  

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

A Silent Voice

I've been a fan of anime for as long as I can remember.  So, when something comes to me highly recommended, I have to watch it.  Right?  Okay, so maybe not.  But what if your 17-year-old tells you that you have to watch it and that you'll cry? 

Yeah.