It's all so weird

I met Troy in high school.  We started dating not long before I turned 16.  We got married in 1997, when we were 23 years old.  We'd been married for 22 years when he died.  I'd never seriously dated anyone other than him, I don't think I'd ever really loved anyone other than him.  

Losing him was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through and I've commented that I never want to get married again.  I think I still mean that, although having someone that I can hang out with, have fun with, someone who isn't a relative or co-worker, would be wonderful.  

Sometime over the last year or so, someone I talk to during work hours (not in my company) occasionally has turned from just being friendly to being downright flirty.  He's told me that I sound super nice, that we need to meet someday because I sound so nice.  One day, he randomly asked if I'd been drinking because I'd been laughing when I answered the phone and I'd told him no - I was working.  He laughed and said, "So, asking you out for lunch and a couple martinis won't work?"

I laughed, even though I was surprised.  

Several weeks later, he mentioned it again.  "We really ought to have lunch one day."  I like that he chose lunch, dinner carries too many connotations, sounds like a date, too much pressure.  Makes it seem more friendly, less something that I know I'm not ready for yet.  

Today, he said he'd been checking out my area - aka where my office is - and was stunned that we're in the middle of an industrial area and there are no restaurants around.  He wanted to know where we ate and I really wanted to tell him 'at my desk, straight out of my lunchbox', but I didn't want to go there.  Instead, I told him you'd be more likely to run into a strip club than a restaurant around here.  Which is true.

So, I'm feeling a bit... strange about all this.  Troy loved me, I know this.  He always told me so, made a point to tell me I looked nice, to treat me well.  But I had been involved with him for 30 years of my life - from when we started dating when I was 15, to when he died when we were both 45.  Hearing someone else flirt is strange to my ears, makes me wonder if I'm making it into more than it is simply because I'm lonely.  

I guess I'll find out the next time I have to call him for something.  Because if he's looking, maybe he's really thinking of asking?